


Never Me

by WolfArcana



Category: Death Note
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-03 17:50:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8723752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfArcana/pseuds/WolfArcana
Summary: My brother was always better than me no matter what I did. In the end my brother became a serial killer.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own death note.

When I was a child I would say that "I will be remembered". That people would remember my name. it was my dream. It didn't matter if I became a singer, a dancer, an artist, an author or a scientist. It didn't matter to me as long as I was remembered. I wanted the name "SAYU YAGAMI" to be remembered. I don't know what happened for me to have that as my dream but it was. I guess I wasn't like all the other children my age.  
I was only a short brunette that laughed perhaps a little too loud. Everyone took me for the wide brown eyed innocent 14-year-old girl. My mother a loyal house-wife, my father a hard working the chief of the NPA, and my brother who was the star of the tennis team along with being the hardworking genius of the school.   
Soon after my first year at school I started to lose hope in that dream. My brother was always in front of me. He was always the best. I felt forgotten by my parents. My father would say "well done, Sayu" but when it was Light it was "that's to be expected, I'm so proud of you, son". My mother would always wait for his report card or test cards. I had to remind her most of the time. What I hated more than anything was the fact that they didn't do it on purpose. They just never realised.  
I then began to learn how to make it look like it didn't hurt. How to learn to smile when all I wanted to was cry. I remember hearing my parents friend or my friend's parents say "what a good child you have there" or the "I wish my children were as well-behaved as Sayu and Light. It's amazing how happy she is" or, my personal favourite, "your daughter is such a kind and happy person! you must be proud of her" of course my parents always said they were, but I don't think it was true.  
I was always helpful, but not as helpful as Light. I'm smart just not as smart. It always hurts, though after all this time the pain has dulled. That doesn't erase the fact it still there. As time goes by you begin not to care of their opinion, but some part of you will always think that you can't erase the fact that the person who is your brother will always be in front of youﾅ That the only thing you'll get from him is his shadow.  
As time passed by I guess I got used to the fact I could be good, just not as good and so my dream was forgotten. Then I was taken against my will as a hostage so that a person named Mello could get the death note.   
I found some years later that he had gone to an orphanage for geniuses. He was second in the whole orphanage. Their goal was to succeed L, the person who was not just the best detective in the world but the best three detectives. He wanted to be the next L but it turns out that L didn't have any choice in the matter. So Mello left, he wanted to be L so that he would be first. I came to realise that he was a lot like me. Fighting so that he would not be left behind, so that he would be remembered.  
My brother then moved to LA. I'm sure he went so as to try and meet L first successor but I didn't really care, after all my father had died because of an order he made. No matter what Matsuda or Light say he gave an order that sent my father to death. At the time though I had no idea what was going on. To me it was like my father was here and then he justﾅ wasn't. I wasn't that close to him but that didn't change the fact that he was my father. It took time for me to recover after being kidnaped and then my father's death, but I got there and sometime later I began college.   
Kira suddenly stopped killing. Some people still believe that he will come back and resume what he started. Coincidently, my brother had died. Me and my mother were told that he had died bring Kira to justice but I never truly believed that. Later on I found out that Mello had died too.  
A year later, I went to Matsuda and asked if he could tell me the truth, not what he was told to say. He said that what he had told me was the truth. Then he received a phone call who was from L, who I assumed was the real L's first successor. He then passed the phone to me. He told me the crimes my brother believed in, the reason my father died, was the weapon my brother used. Then at the end of it he asked me if I was the same. I told him my brother was a genius with a god complex then proceeded to say that I was not a genius and I did not have a god complex, then said thank you to both him and Mastuda and left. More like ran if I'm honest.   
I think the fact my brother was the biggest serial killer in history hit me when I finally got home. Even though I was jealous of him for being better than me at basically everything I was still upset. He was my brother. Even now I have no idea of who the new L is nor why he told me but he did and I will always be grateful for that.   
Now I'm trying to accomplish my dream. I no longer have Light's shadow in front of me even though on some days it feels like I do. My brother was better than me at everything. He did defeat the first L and then take his place but even though he was better it doesn't change the fact that my brother was a serial killer.


End file.
